Doughnuts in the dark

 

So, unless you are living under a rock – which might not be a bad place to be of late – you know there is this little celestial happening taking place on Monday. Now, don’t get me wrong I have nothing against a good solar eclipse every now and then. My problem is the craziness that ensues around it. No, not the mood swings of toddlers or the possible rampant explosion of women giving birth. I am talking about doughnuts here folks!

There is a cosmic confection conundrum among us that has me just a tad perplexed. It seems that many bakeries are offering special treats in honor of the eclipse. Now I am never opposed to someone running out a new flavor of doughnut. In fact, I don’t think there ever needs to be an excuse to eat a doughnut, make a doughnut, buy a doughnut – I think you get my point. My concern is this – why limit a delicious treat to being offered only one day? Do the sun and moon need to have a dance in outer space for you to offer me chocolate goodness? And why are you shaming me into eating doughnuts in the dark?

While the masses are cutting holes in shoe boxes or frantically looking to get a pair of those crazy shades, I am trying to figure out how I can purchase all the special “eclipse doughnuts” for myself. I mean in the amount of time most people are staring aimlessly at the sky I think I can eat a couple dozen of those round beauties. And I will not feel guilty about it at all. I will be eating in the dark only because the sun is playing peek-a-boo with the moon. I am not ashamed to eat my doughnuts in any atmospheric condition.

So on Monday if you buy one of those special doughnuts you might want to keep a close eye on it. Because while the darkness envelopes the land, my mouth might just be consuming your doughnut.